That second chance

Hey. Been having too many thoughts in my head that I need to blurt out & I'm wondering if it has got to do with me leaving in exactly 2 weeks. Spent a very lovely day with Cheryl, Rachel & Theresa yesterday & I'm already missing them. I don't know what the 6 months will bring to me but I only hope that it'd make me a stronger person, both mentally and physically. This is going to be my 2nd time away from home for more than a month but I guess it would be different because I'll be there to work and not for play/study. I don't know what the 6 months can bring to me but from what I 'd already experienced, it would be an abundance of new sights and sounds. My life has been great, I get to see/do a lot of things that most would not have the opportunity to. I get to meet people from all walks of life & I get my fair share of romance as well. The old has to go for the new & better to come. 

There are a lot of things to consider at this point in my life & I'm sure I'm not the only one who is worrying about things, be it relationships (definitely this for me), education or career. So I know I'm not alone in this. Hopefully this blog post will get you thinking about life & what it means for you as well. Have been living the days as they go by & slowly discovering who I'm and who I want to be. Which is a good thing I guess. Beats wandering around aimlessly, blaming life when it gets tough & whatnots. 

I guess I'm quite lucky because despite a tough childhood, I found myself some of the greatest people that I now can't live without. I don't have a lot of friends, basically there are 4 groups of lovely people...

1) Besties

2) SOS

3) Gossip Warriors

4) Cloud

I find it ironic that family members aren't always the people we turn to when we need help but I guess it doesn't mean that if you're family, you've the same mind. Everyone is different & when you finally find someone that you really connect to or like as a person & everything, the one thing you want and must do is hold on tight & never let go. I don't want to know what it's like to lose any one of my best friends. I think I might just die. Already the process of almost losing my mom nearly killed me, I don't know what loss from this aspect will bring. Although I may have already been hardened by a lot of things & a facade is not difficult to put on, I believe I'm only human & I've emotions too. It doesn't mean not saying anything = there is nothing. 

I believe I've been given a second chance to lead my life the way I want it so I should really make full use of it - the way that I'd like to live it. I don't want to say that "everything happens for a reason" because all anyone can reason with that is, "with experience comes knowledge" or "now you know better". But probably it does. You can't see your future. There isn't one thing that happened without a reason. You eat so that you can live. That is a reason to eat.